This weekend Geri and I are leading a retreat for 16 couples in NJ. It is the fruit of over 12 years of thinking about a theology of sexuality, marriage and spirituality. We limited the retreat purposefully and spent an inordinate amount of time creating a one and a half day experience in Scripture, small groups, time alone with God and emotionally healthy skills. It will be the first of 2 parts that we hope to make more permanent a part of NLF culture for all marrieds. It was a challenge for me to clear my life the last two weeks in preparation. I find myself easily pulled into larger, more “grandiose ministry”. God used her groundedness and this weekend to pull me down to earth (humus-humility) about what is really important. That is integrity in our spiritual lives and vocations — whether we are single or married. Paul makes clear that if we are skimming on our families, we are not in order. We are not going to be able to lead or be a healthy church family (1 Tim. 3:5). The quality of our ministries will be impacted by the quality of our marriages. If you are married, your vocation is your spouse first, along with any children God has given you. This covenant takes priority over work, church and all other people. Paul refers to the one flesh union of husband and wife as a foreshadowing of Christ’s union with His bride, the church (Eph. 5:31-32). For this reason our marriage and sexuality are meant to proclaim and image our union with Christ. Our marital union is to be a picture, and experience, of receiving and giving the love of God. That is quite a calling and mission. Few know such a joy and grasp the kingdom implications of such a vocation. Understanding singleness as a vocation is also essential. Some are called to “sacrifice marriage for the sake of the kingdom” (Matt. 19:12). Celibacy is not a rejection of sexuality but a call to embrace its ultimate purpose. The “one flesh” union is a pointer to something far more glorious – the eternal union of Christ and the church. Those who choose Christian celibacy skip earthly marriage to devote themselves to the eternal one. Both vocations – marriage and singleness -need to be affirmed biblically and strongly. Nonetheless, most important thing in the life of all married people is their marriage. If that is true, what change do you need to make in your schedule this week? How connected is your singleness, your sexuality, your marriage to your spirituality really? Why is there such a large disconnect in the church today?
6
Nov
